Lessons

It feels like ages since I've had anything to write about. To be honest I've not been in the mood to write about how good God is...that is the most shameful thing, and it's really hit me how selfish we can be. I guess it's a generational thing, we live in an age where we expect everything to work out how we want it to, as if that's our right, and if it doesn't then we sulk or assume that God isn't "on our side". I'm the worst culprit for this, and when things don't go well (most of the time!) I really struggle.

Recently it has felt like my whole world has been falling apart. As soon as I think nothing else can go wrong it does, etc...you know what it's like. Since the stuff God had been challenging me about before (see previous post) about praising Him through whatever we face, I felt really determined this time to cling to God for dear life through recent trials. It started well, but over time disaster after disaster started to loosen my grip, and once again I found myself at breaking point. And when I'm there faith and trust go out the window and I get really angry and worried and everything else that is really horrible and not God. One night as I was stressing about being stressed, I found this verse in Ezra...

"Then, at the evening sacrifice, I rose from my self-abasement, with my tunic and cloak torn, and fell on my knees with my hands spread out to the LORD my God and prayed..." (Ezra 9:5)

It really hit me. DAVE! Get out of yourself, who are you without God? Rely on Him. I'm humbled when I see people who are suffering in a big way, yet are still have an overwhelming sense of peace and faith in the Almighty.

A friend had said to me earlier in the week "if you can worry you can pray"...I'm a champion worrier, but until I share those worries with God instead of dwelling on them then nothing will change.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you." (John 15:5-7)

I recently spent a lot of time looking at these verses, and thinking about how we need to be rooting ourselves in God regardless of what is going on around us. I was particularly struck by the "if you remain in me and my words remain in you"...through everything recently I've been clinging to the words of scripture - be it promises of hope or warnings to let go of everything that isn't of God and to root myself in Him. When Jesus was in the desert being tempted by the devil, it was with words from scripture that He silenced the accuser.

"If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge-then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honour him." (Psalm 91:9-15)

Not a very deep post this time, there's a big one on the horizon though so don't get too excited.