I'll stand!

The devil is a liar!! Yesterday I really came under attack from the enemy and felt myself getting unjustifiably angry at things. But in the evening I started reading a book that my friend lent me about spiritual warfare. It really put things into context and opened my eyes to the battle that we, as Christians, face every day whether we know it or not.

In the opening chapter, the author hears the voice of the Lord saying "This is the beginning of the enemy's last day army. This is Satan's ultimate deception. His greatest power of destruction is released when he uses Christians to attack one another. Throughout the ages he has used this army, but never has he been able to use so many for his evil purposes as he is now. Do not fear, I have an army, too. You must now stand and fight because there is no longer any place to hide from this war. You must fight for my kingdom, for truth, and for those who have been deceived"

What a wake-up call at such a powerful moment! At a time when I find it so easy to become frustrated at things I don't understand in other denominations, and even the stayed traditionalist attitudes of parts of my own "denomination", I'm reminded that this is exactly what the enemy uses to tear apart the Church. The book depicts vividly the way the enemy uses pride, jealousy, selfish ambition, impatience, unforgiveness and many others, to leave the Church to tear itself apart and render itself useless in the fight.

"So Jesus called them and spoke to them in parables: "How can Satan drive out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand." (Mark 3:23-25)

As the quote above says (from the book), we have a battle on our hands and we can no longer hide from it. For ages I mocked the whole "spiritual warfare" thing, I didn't understand it. But now my eyes are being opened and I realise how the devil is turning Christians upon themselves to render them useless and hinder the spread of the Kingdom.

Last week I took a Salvation Army flag and went and stood in the street outside my church with it. It was meant as a prank to welcome a friend back from holiday; but God had the last laugh and used the occasion to give me a nudge. As much as I normally don't like the traditional/symbolic aspects such as the flag, as I stood in the street and held the flag up I looked up at it just as a gust of breeze took hold of it. For a split second I was awestruck by the magnificence and splendour of it and was reminded that the only victors in this battle will be those that march united under the banner of Christ.

It is time to ready ourselves for the battle. It is time to stand united under the banner of Christ. It is time to put off "sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like" (Galatians 6:19-21). It is time to clothe ourselves in the full armour of God (Ephesians 6), not just parts of it. It is time to stand against the flaming darts of the enemy.

Another quote from the book which hit me; "You cannot win if you try to fight the enemy on his own ground. You must remain on My holy mountain"

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)

Bring it on!!

Noise is beautiful?

This evening I went to church (HTB) with a couple of friends. I went with a lot of stuff on my mind; worries, anxieties, etc. I wasn't in the ideal mood and part of me didn't really want to go but I had sensed in church this morning that I should go, so I did.

At one point during the worship I stopped singing, shut my eyes and just listened. It was like nothing I've heard before. I've been in times of worship before when there's been a really special moment; but this was something more than that. Perhaps nobody else noticed it, because it was nothing out of the ordinary. But what I heard was the sound of people all around me engaging with the Almighty, pouring out their hearts and giving their all. Usually those "special moments" are in the silences, or spontaneous singing. But as I shut my eyes and listened, there was nothing like that. It was a sound I guess we usually take for granted and think nothing of. But as I focussed on it this evening it filled my head in a beautiful way and, for a moment, I was unaware of anything else.

"My salvation and my honour depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." (Psalm62:7-8)

How I long to be able to pour out my heart to God in the way that I heard people doing this evening. What holds me back? Fear, I guess. This morning at church we were looking at how prayer is about a relationship with God. Just like a parent knows their child, so God desires that intimate relationship with us; a relationship of mutual trust.

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." (Jeremiah 29:12-14)

This evening in the response the speaker mentioned that our true identity can often be hidden under "cloaks" we put on (or that other people put on us). In reality, our true identity should only be as a unique and valued child of God. How I needed to hear that this evening. I was chatting with a friend the other day about how I don't feel "myself" unless I'm with certain people or doing certain things. But my identity isn't in the people I spend time with. My identity isn't in trying to copy those I look up to. My identity is in Christ and in who He is making me to be. I need to learn to accept that; to discover who I really am and grasp it with both hands (and both feet too, I'm an organist).

My deepest desire is for relationship. I hate being on my own and only feel "myself" when I'm with friends. That whole area has caused me so much pain and frustration over recent months, yet I was reminded this morning that our (my) relationship with God should be one of mutual trust and understanding. If anyone knows what I long for it's the guy that made me. I need to learn to hear the beat of His heart more and become lost in His presence...that's what happened for a very brief moment this evening.

Lessons in faith and love

It seems like ages since I had anything to write about, then it all comes along at once! The last couple of months have been one long lesson from God, here's the highlights...

I've left music college, finally!! As much as I have enjoyed and learned alot from being there, I decided that it wasn't where God wanted me to be. The next thing is finding out where He does want me...watch this space! It has been a test of faith...I don't have a clue what is around the corner, each day I face more situations that look ridiculous and hopeless but at the same time there's still that quiet voice saying "I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish." (Isaiah 41:9-11)

I have been struggling a lot recently with various issues; relationships, esteem etc. But that same passage keeps going through my head reminding me and reassuring me that we serve a mighty, awesome, powerful, faithful God who promises to be everything that we need.

God has been teaching me about worship too, it's something I've been thinking about a lot. I see worship as being anything which enables us to bring praise and glory to the Almighty in whatever ways we are able, using the gifts we have been given. Paul writes;
"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." (1Peter 4:10-11)

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (1Corinthians 10:31)

Mother Theresa was once asked how she went about each day; she replied "Each morning I meditate on Jesus. I then go and look for him in disguise". This is how we should worship. We first look to Jesus, and then we look to love him among the poor and the broken. Our love for others and desire to serve has to come from our overwhelming love for Jesus. True worship means that (as the passage above mentions) in everything we do, we do it for Jesus.

Recently I've been spending a lot more time than usual at my church, and it has opened my eyes so much to the life and work that God has called me to. I never guessed that as a result of saying "yes" to God I would be cleaning up bodily fluids, taking abuse from angry residents, and all manner of exciting things. But the more time I spend here, in the community that once scared me, the more I love it. The Bible says that perfect love drives out all fear (1John 4:18), and I'm excited that God has given me an amazing love for the place and for being His hands and feet here. I don't want a passive faith, I don't want to know exactly what I'll be doing for the next few years and where I'll be and where my money will come from...I like doing it the Jesus way, it's exciting!