Don't make me angry!

It seems ages since I've put anything on here! Last night when I was praying I was reminded of the following verse...

Ephesians 4:26..."In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry"

It started me thinkig...Anger isn't necessarily a bad thing, it is right to have emotions. A friend of mine, when we pray, often asks God to stir us up and lay on our hearts the things that are on His. That could mean giving us a heart for the lost/broken, a touch for the untouchable, or anger at injustice and suffering. Anger itself isn't a sin - only how we deal with it.

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:1-10)

Something I've been struggling with recently has been the concept of the fulness of Gods grace and redemption...that when He forgives He means it, and that when He heals it's no bodge job. I know I've been forgiven for things I've done and that I don't hold anything against people who have hurt me - yet sometimes I still feel a guilt for my wrongdoings and anger at things I have suffered. I shouldn't, because Gods forgiveness and healing is infinite. But problems come when that anger leads to sin - particularly bitterness - towards myself or others.

I know these "attacks" of anger are the work of the enemy, and so does Paul - he goes on to say "do not give the devil a foothold" (v27). Nicky Gumbel recently quoted in a sermon..."do not give the devil a foothold because a foothold leads to a stronghold, which leads to a stranglehold"

The "in your anger do not sin" bit in Ephesians 4 is quoted from Psalm 4:4..."In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your heart and be silent" - so I do! David, when writing this Psalm, had his head screwed on...he knew that a good time to be still, sort his life out and get straight with God was when he went to bed. When I go to bed everything that has happened during the day, everything that's due to happen the next day...its all forgotten, leaving the perfect time to clear my mind of everything and spend some quality time with God to put things right and ensure that I don't let the sun go down while I'm still angry.

Awesome!

I found this film on the internet recently, it's amazing, click here to watch it now! Make sure you have the sound on, there's a few seconds of nothing at the beginning but be patient!
(Some people have said that the above link doesn't work. If that's the case, click here to go to the website I got it from and watch it there)

I don't know if you've ever tried going on for 6 minutes non-stop about the character of God - good luck with it, I can't get close! It's impossible to put the wonder, glory, power and beauty of God into words but Rev. S.M.Lockridge had a good go in this clip and it left me speechless.

I've been amazed recently...each sunday evening I come back from church with a friend and we sit and watch Planet Earth on BBC1. Each week I'm left in awe, able to think of nothing except the God who made it all..every plant, creature, mountain, glacier, desert, waterfall, sunset, snowscape..."and God saw that it was good" (Genesis 1)

An English schoolteacher was in Switzerland looking for a room to rent for when she would begin her teaching there the following autumn. She asked the schoolmaster if he could recommed any. He took her to see several rooms, and when everything was settled she returned home to make final preparations for the move. When she arrived home, the thought suddenly occured to her that she had not seen a Water Closet (toilet) around the place. She immediately wrote a note to the schoolmaster asking him if there was a "W.C." near the room. The schoolmaster was a poor master of english so he asked the parish priest about the meaning of the letters "W.C." and the only solution they could come up with for the letters was "Wayside Chapel". The schoolmaster then wrote thefollowing note to the English lady seeking a "W.C." with her room.

Dear Madam,

I take great comfort in informing you that a "W.C." is situated nine miles from the house in the corner of a beautiful grove of pine trees, surroundedby lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people, and is open on Sundays and Thursdays only. As there are a great many people expected during the summer months, I would suggest that you come early, although there is usually plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation, particularly if you are in the habit of going regularly. You will no doubt be glad to hear that a good many bring their lunch and make a day of it, while others, who can't afford to go by car, arrive just in time. I would especially advise your ladyship to go on Thursdays when there is an organ accompanist. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.

It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in the"W.C." and it was there that she met her husband. I can remember the rush there was for seats. There were ten people to a seat usually reserved for one, and it was wonderful to see the expression on their faces. The newest attraction is a bell, donated by a wealthy resident of the district, which rings every time a person enters. A bazaar is to be held to raise money for plush seats for all, since the people believe it is a long-felt want.

My wife is rather delicate so she can't go regularly: it is almost a year since she went last. Naturally it pains her not to be able to go more often. I shall be delighted to reserve the best seat for you, if you wish, where you will be seen by all. For the children there is a special time so that they will not disturb the elders.

Hoping to have been of some service to you, I remain,
Sincerely,
The Schoolmaster

Random thoughts again

Just had CU at college, it was really good. I haven't been able to go for ages because it clashed with a quintet rehearsal each week but that has all just changed so now I can go. We spent the hour in prayer, using the "one hour prayer clock"


(Technical probs, I don't get what is going on but you can see it if you click on the white box on the left!)

Jenny, who was leading, mentioned a bit in 2Chronicles 12:20 where the people said to God "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you"...how awesome is that?! I'm so glad that I heard that verse today, we can apply it to so much. I never know what I'm doing with my life...be it why I'm at music college, when/how I'll be able to go back to Estonia, how I'm meant to afford to eat/pay rent/pay bills etc. I don't know what is going on relationships-wise, what I should be doing in different situations, etc..."but our eyes are upon you"...thats the important bit!

Also during the session we spent some time reading and meditating over passages of scripture by ourselves. I was chewing over 1Chronicles 16:7-36 (too much to quote here so follow the hyperlink, it's awesome!) one verse at a time. A couple of bits stuck out even more than the rest once I asked God to speak to me through the passage...verses 11, 12, 15, 19-22...

Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced. He remembers his covenant forever, the word he commanded, for a thousand generations. When the people of Israel were but few in number, few indeed, and strangers in the land of Canaan, they wandered from nation to nation, from one kingdom to another. He allowed no man to oppress them; for their sake he rebuked kings: "Do not touch my anointed ones; do my prophets no harm."

Isaiah 54:16-17..."I have created the blacksmith who fans the coals beneath the forge and makes the weapons of destruction. And I have created the armies that destroy. But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord; their vindication will come from me. I, the Lord, have spoken!"

Terrorism

Last weekend I took part in a remembrance service. Forgive me if I've got the wrong approach to this, but as much as I know and respect that remembrance day is a time to reflect on the sacrifice of those killed in war, in the entire ceremony there wasn't one mention of the "enemy", the perpetrators, the people who killed the people we were giving thanks for...and that surprised me. The events of the weekend did get me thinking though, about the fact that its not just about World War I any more, as we speak our military is involved in a war on many fronts, in many countries, and there are deaths each day. War is no longer confined to soldiers fighting a battle of attrition on the battlefield. It affects everyone, innocent and helpless people too. I was thinking alot about the prominent place of terrorism in society today, the ever-present fear of this current style of "war".

Each month I get sent a magazine for christian youthworkers. In a recent issue, it said "terrorism has become such an emotive issue that its vital we avoid media distortions and understand it properly. That includes both knowing why people are doing these things and what is a biblical attitude to it all".

On 1st June 2001, Sa'id al-Houtari blew himself up at an Israeli nightclub, killing 21 people (mostly teenagers) and injuring 83 more. It was described as "one of the most murderous acts of terrorism perpetrated in the course of the current Israeli-Palestinian conflict. In his will, he said...

The real heroes are those who write the history of their nation with their blood, who build with their own bodies the glory and pride which reaches heaven, and who with their skulls build impregnable fortresses.

I hereby defiantly say to the world that bears a grudge against our people, that supports the Zionists with money and weapons, what was written before me in the blood of martyr Abdallah Azam: "If preparation for a jihad is terrorism, then we are terrorists. If defending our honour is extremism then we are extremists. If a jihad against our enemies is fundamentalism, then we are fundamentalists."

Although I believe both al-Houtari's motives and actions were wrong, part of me admires (up to a certain point) those who die for their beliefs. Certainly it is wrong to kill, regardless of the injustice you feel, but to what extent would we be prepared to defend our faith to? I learn alot from Paul, and the fact that through immense suffering he was joyful in the knowledge of the love of Jesus. "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21)

On a completely different line of thought, the bit where he speaks about being terrorists or extremists or fundamentalists depending on what people wanted them to be...reminded me of Paul writing to the Corinthians, saying "To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings"

I think we can learn alot about how to react to hostility from Paul. In Romans 12:9-21 he speaks about how we should love and pray for the perpetrators of such acts. Verses 19-21 say that its not our place to judge or avenge people, but that God will do it. I was thinking about that alot recently with the whole Saddam Hussein thing. Romans 14:12-13 says "So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way." Verse 21 of the previous passage tells us to "overcome evil with good"

The youthwork magazine goes on to say "Fear is a natural response to terrorism, but God doesn't intend us to live frightened, miserable lives". This reminded me of part of the remembrance service where the vicar read something called the act of commitment. Somewhere in there were the words "Merciful God, we offer to you the fears in us that have not yet been cast out by love" Thats it!! Love destroys fear!! Problem solved...terrorists play in the realm of fear; often great damage can be done to morale, business, tourism etc purely by people being scared. If we learn to love the perpetrators, that love will cast out all fear.

As I said at the beginning, I think we should remember (and pray for) not just the victims of war/terrorism, but also for the wider circle of people involved;

• the victims and those who have suffered terrible losses
• the terrorists, for the twisted priorities that lead them to orchestrate the whole thing
• the recruiters, those who are being drawn into violence. It was in the media recently that terrorists are being recruited from our schools
• the authorities (Police, military etc) that have to deal with it
• politicians, the UN
• the Church
• public
• media
• ourselves - that God will bring His peace to everyone as we live for His kingdom in a troubled and dangerous world.

Sorry for yet another rant!

Instinct

It seems ages since I've written anything on here, my mind is all over the place at the moment so another rambling post I'm afraid!

Instinct is a bizarre thing. I was thinking earlier about what is meant by "instinct"...when you have a feeling deep down that you know something. The dictionary describes it as "a natural or innate impulse, inclination, or tendency". And as I started to see where God fits into that equation, I came up with the issue (once again!) of faith. Paul describes faith as a gift (1Cor 12:9), and says that that faith is available for all of us (verse 6), we just need to grasp it.

Hebrews 1:1 - "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"

When I got back from Estonia I wrote a post on here where I said that I wasn't sure what was going on, whether that was something God wanted me to be doing or not. Well it's been on my heart so much ever since, but I thought that it would be wrong to come home from a weekend there with a group of people and say that God wanted me to serve Him there...because in two weeks time I could go somewhere that was just as good and where there was just as much need, and say that God wanted me there instead. So I'm aiming to go back on my own and spend a little longer there to see things as they really are and allow God to speak to me through it.

I've been in contact with people there who have been really supportive of the idea, so I started looking at logistics and came to the first hurdle...finances. I have no doubt that this is something that God wants me to do. And we're promised that "the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name" (John 15:16). So in faith, I've been approaching the whole issue, in full assurance of the fact that if we go all out to follow Gods plans, we can't go wrong!

"I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name" (Revelation 3:8). If God has opened the door for me to return to Estonia, then nothing can shut that door, He will provide the finances, logistics, time etc. At the weekend somebody gave me the idea of putting on a horn recital to do some fundraising. I thought it sounded like a good idea, but wasn't sure how my horn teacher would react when I told him. I raised it in my lesson this morning (in faith!) and he was really supportive of the whole idea, so I'm working on it now.

The whole recital idea is risky though, with no way of telling how many people will turn up or how much money will be raised. So I thought I'd try (again!) to get a job over Christmas to raise the flight money, and if I manage to arrange a recital then any money raised by that would go to support the work of The Salvation Army in Estonia. Pray for me, I need a job!

I really hope that I am able to raise the money to return to Estonia, but I couldn't see my teacher taking to the idea of me putting on a recital. But just as it says in Hebrews, by faith I have become sure of what I hope for, and have become certain of the plans I originally thought were unrealistic. In fact, not only have I become sure and certain of the fact that God is going to allow me to return there, I am incredibly joyful (and excited!) in that knowledge! 1 Peter 1:8 - "Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy"

Matthew 19:26 - "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible"

From BBC website - "Saddam calls for reconciliation"

Quotes from the website...the full article can be found at http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6123526.stm

Thoughts on the article to follow once I've chewed it over!

Saddam Hussein has urged Iraqis to seek reconciliation, two days after being sentenced to death by hanging for crimes against humanity. "I call on all Iraqis, Arabs and Kurds, to forgive, reconcile and shake hands," the former president told the court in a separate trial for genocide.

More than 180,000 people are alleged to have died in the Anfal campaign.

Saddam Hussein was subdued in court on Tuesday, in contrast to his defiance on Sunday as his death sentence was read out.

Speaking to the court in the afternoon session, Saddam Hussein cited references to the Prophet Muhammad and Jesus who had asked for forgiveness for those who had opposed them.

Mark 16:15-17... He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues"

Acts 2:21..."And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved"

A special-needs teacher by mistake?

It feels like ages since I wrote anything on here. I'm on a bit of a guilt trip at the moment - someone came into college this morning to do a talk about the different fields of music in education. I only went because I agreed last night in the pub to keep a friend company...and because they were putting on a free lunch afterwards.

To cut a long story short, I ended up being questionned by the woman giving the talk about my plans for career development, how much teaching I was doing at the moment, how I would use her agency etc. I had a plateful of free food so didn't think it would be appropriate to tell the truth and say I had no plans to work in music...I made something up on the spur of the moment about wanting to work with people with special needs (not entirely fictional, I had considered it at one stage). She seemed interested by that, and signed me up to go on a course in the new year with the National Disability Arts Forum. That wasn't meant to happen!

On a completely different subject, I'm going through a bit of an Ezekiel phase at the moment. It's so good! Last night I was reading chapters 2 and 3. There's too much to quote here (so follow the hyperlink), but it's rich in prophecy about our mission to spread the word to people. Chapter 2 tells us not to be worried by people's stubborn response to our message...

The people to whom I am sending you are obstinate and stubborn. Say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign Lord says.' And whether they listen or fail to listen—for they are a rebellious house—they will know that a prophet has been among them. And you, son of man, do not be afraid of them or their words. Do not be afraid, though briers and thorns are all around you and you live among scorpions. Do not be afraid of what they say or terrified by them, though they are a rebellious house. You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen, for they are rebellious. But you, son of man, listen to what I say to you. Do not rebel like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you.

Chapter 3 is awesome, we're told that we will be accountable for the blood of those we do not tell. It's a hard hitting chapter, I don't need to elaborate on any of it - I came across it last night and knew I had to share it. Our time here is not about making sure we're good enough to get a place in heaven, it doesn't work like that.

When I say to a wicked man, 'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die in his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways, he will die for his sin; but you will have saved yourself. Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the righteous man not to sin and he does not sin, he will surely live because he took warning, and you will have saved yourself.

We've got work to do! After reading that, I can't just sit by and watch bad things happen...we've got a message to share, and people to reach that are not going to come running to us; so we might as well give up waiting for them and go running to them. I always think of the people that I've had conversations with telling them about Jesus. I always think of the people I've led to faith, the people I've prayed with and seen healed. I think of all the good things that have happened and how God will have seen those. I don't think about the people I haven't shared with; the situations where I haven't had the courage to speak out; the people I've avoided...but I'm going to be held accountable for those people, so perhaps I should!

What a cat-astrophe

I didn't get the job! For goodness sake how hard can it be?!

But the weirdest thing happened last night...I was at a friends house and didn't realise the time, so ended up leaving at 2.30am (this morning). I was a tad nervous, there are nicer places to be at that time of the night than the Woolwich flyover, but the walk back went without a hitch.

When I got about half way, I saw a cat running towards me. I'm not a fan of cats (not that I'm superstitious, I just don't like them) so I have to admit that in my league of things to be scared of, this cat was up there with the druggies under the flyover. By reciting the "even though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death I will fear no evil" Psalm and calling to mind the bit in Matilda where Ms Trunchball kicks the cat and sends it flying (not that I watch that film often), I calmed myself down before it got to me. I stopped and it rubbed itself against my legs...I tried doing that once and got a slap for it (joke), so I don't know why it thought it could do it to me.

I started walking again and it followed me...no it didn't, it walked right next to me, right under my feet all the way back to my house. If I stopped, so did the cat. If I slowed down, so did the cat. If I sped up, so did the cat. If I crossed the road, zig-zagged, got on a bus, stopped for a cigarette (joke), so did the cat. I thought we were going to end up with a cat in our living room but it stopped at the end of my drive and rolled over in a bid to get me to rub its belly...fat chance. By now it was getting on for 3am so not much was going on in my head, but I kept being reminded of Jesus' promise right at the end of Matthew..."surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age".

I had spent the evening fuming over the fact that I hadn't got this job, feeling useless for not being able to find one anywhere, worrying about what I was going to do for money...and a cat of all things (don't tell anyone!) provided me with just the reassurance I needed to calm down.

Ephesians 4:26 - "'In your anger do not sin': Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry"

Editorial - in response to "Son of a preacher man" post

(See previous post, "Son of a preacher man")

I stand corrected! A friend of mine (an officer, born to officer parents, with grown up children of his own so well-equipped to quash all of my concerns) emailed to comment on concerns I had raised about having children as an officer. Part of his feedback read:

"Education used to be the big complaint but officers are moved these days with far less frequency than they used to be. And they are allowed a far greater say in when they move. The standard term is now 5 years, extended by agreement every two years up to a total stay of 9 years. This could mean that a child entering school at 5 years of age need have only one change of school before university.To be honest, a lot of sentimental twaddle is talked about the officers kids and officer parents. They’re people and like all people, there are good, bad and indifferent ones. Both my daughters are lovely people who are happily married, love the Lord and have beautiful children. Both have excellent university degrees. Did having officer parents affect me or my children? I honestly don’t think it made a scrap of difference.As far as parents’ making sacrifices if their children go on missionary service....if the child was dedicated in the SA it’s part of the ceremony that the parents will not withhold their child for such service. In any case, many ‘children’ these days emigrate, some to the other ends of the earth. What parent would stand in the way of a child’s desire to pursue happiness, whether it is in a secular or spiritual journey"

Thats what I needed! Apologies if I touched a raw nerve with anyone, I wasn't saying it was wrong or cruel or that the children are eternally blighted by their parent's occupation or anything like that...the whole thing was just a random fleece that I put out a while ago. I think I can safely say that the fleece is wet and the ground dry, as requested!

No specific subject, trying to think about everything at the same time!

Sorry, my mind is all over the place this morning so no rational train of thought!

We just had a prayer meeting at college - a group of us meet for an hour of prayer and worship every wednesday morning, but lots of people were away today so there were only 3 of us. It was great though, really felt the presence and peace of God...without the usual pressure that comes with having lots of people there. It was really good to just spend a relaxed hour chilling out in Gods presence, praying for the things that He put on our hearts. 1John 5:14-15..."This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him"

I've got a job interview tomorrow...I really need this job so if you're the praying sort please pray. If you're not the praying sort, please go on an Alpha course and then pray.

I came out the house this morning to walk in to college (8.30am, give the lad a medal!) and it was freezing! Can't help but think back to Estonia...I had an email yesterday from a girl I met there (thats a story for another time) saying that they had snow. So it's started - when we went to the Lines where the people were living with absolutely nothing, we were told that before long there would be 2 feet of snow and it would be -20degrees and still these people would be stuck there with no electricity, water, heating, food, doors, windows, roofs (burnt down by lighting fires inside their wooden huts) etc. I didn't have the heart to complain about being cold after that.

I've just started reading a book by Roger Forster about the doctrine and theology of the Trinity. I've only got as far as the introduction and most of it is over my head...but one thing that stuck out to me as I read it was the concept of unity in diversity (thinking about it, it might have been diversity within unity, I'll check!) - three separate beings being as one. So there might be a blog about that soon. Whilst on the subject of the Trinity though, I was at cell group last week and Rogers daughter was talking about creation, how to read the whole creation in 7 days thing and how to approach things like the big bang, evolution etc...was really interesting. But she said something about the Trinity - although it is never spoken of directly in the Bible, it is hinted at a lot and starts quite early on (I'd never picked this up)...Genesis chapter 1. Father: verse1, creator. Spirt: verse2 "the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters". Son: verse3 "and God said..." - human connotations. How clever!

I've also been trying to work out the plagues in Exodus...if God sent them to make Pharoah turn to Him, why did He harden his heart and send more plagues when he tried to? (see especially Exodus 10:16-20). Why harden his heart when He could soften it? So there might be a blog about that one soon as well!