Instinct

It seems ages since I've written anything on here, my mind is all over the place at the moment so another rambling post I'm afraid!

Instinct is a bizarre thing. I was thinking earlier about what is meant by "instinct"...when you have a feeling deep down that you know something. The dictionary describes it as "a natural or innate impulse, inclination, or tendency". And as I started to see where God fits into that equation, I came up with the issue (once again!) of faith. Paul describes faith as a gift (1Cor 12:9), and says that that faith is available for all of us (verse 6), we just need to grasp it.

Hebrews 1:1 - "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"

When I got back from Estonia I wrote a post on here where I said that I wasn't sure what was going on, whether that was something God wanted me to be doing or not. Well it's been on my heart so much ever since, but I thought that it would be wrong to come home from a weekend there with a group of people and say that God wanted me to serve Him there...because in two weeks time I could go somewhere that was just as good and where there was just as much need, and say that God wanted me there instead. So I'm aiming to go back on my own and spend a little longer there to see things as they really are and allow God to speak to me through it.

I've been in contact with people there who have been really supportive of the idea, so I started looking at logistics and came to the first hurdle...finances. I have no doubt that this is something that God wants me to do. And we're promised that "the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name" (John 15:16). So in faith, I've been approaching the whole issue, in full assurance of the fact that if we go all out to follow Gods plans, we can't go wrong!

"I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name" (Revelation 3:8). If God has opened the door for me to return to Estonia, then nothing can shut that door, He will provide the finances, logistics, time etc. At the weekend somebody gave me the idea of putting on a horn recital to do some fundraising. I thought it sounded like a good idea, but wasn't sure how my horn teacher would react when I told him. I raised it in my lesson this morning (in faith!) and he was really supportive of the whole idea, so I'm working on it now.

The whole recital idea is risky though, with no way of telling how many people will turn up or how much money will be raised. So I thought I'd try (again!) to get a job over Christmas to raise the flight money, and if I manage to arrange a recital then any money raised by that would go to support the work of The Salvation Army in Estonia. Pray for me, I need a job!

I really hope that I am able to raise the money to return to Estonia, but I couldn't see my teacher taking to the idea of me putting on a recital. But just as it says in Hebrews, by faith I have become sure of what I hope for, and have become certain of the plans I originally thought were unrealistic. In fact, not only have I become sure and certain of the fact that God is going to allow me to return there, I am incredibly joyful (and excited!) in that knowledge! 1 Peter 1:8 - "Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy"

Matthew 19:26 - "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible"